I asked a woman for a cigarette. It was just before the Fourth of July fireworks
and I was expecting our interaction to end right after she granted my request.
Aside from getting the cigarette I requested, the exact opposite happened.
This woman asked me when I realized that I was gay. I told her I had pretty
much always known. She told me that she herself had numerous lesbian sexual
experiences in her life and even had a long-term relationship with a woman
whom she deeply loved.
At this point in the conversation I was thinking I was speaking with an ally. I
couldn’t have been more wrong. She told me that one morning she woke up
and looked at her girlfriend and thought to herself “what am I doing?” She left
her girlfriend and ended up marrying the man who is now her husband. She had
three children whom she loves deeply. Had she not come to this realization,
she told me of how she would not have been blessed with her own biological
children. “God gave you the parts to make children… why don’t you want to use
them for that?” was the question she followed with. I could have used tons of
scientific terms, but I chose to just hear her out. I did, though, tell her that I had
been a sperm donor for a lesbian couple and that that would have been a way
for me to have a biological child. I didn’t get much of a response to that, but the
conversation just continued. She wondered why I wouldn’t consider changing
my sexual orientation. Basically, I find it hard to defend myself to someone who
claims to have “changed” their sexual orientation.
I took quite a bit away from this conversation, but the biggest thing I feel is that
God was telling me to stop smoking.